On fathers

            Later, as the car drove away from her parent’s house she had flashes of memory of her comings and goings from there. She would remember the each time her father had said goodbye and reassure her that she should feel free to call or come home at anytime. That he always smiled when she came through the door on each visit and was the first to meet her at the door. He was the last one she saw as she looked out the back window of the car.

            Her mother was always in the kitchen making cookies each time she came home as a girl. How could anyone make that many cookies? She would come in with a plate of fresh baked cookies and a glass of milk or juice each time Vanessa came home for a visit. Her mother always looked so surprised that she had come back and then would insist that Vanessa spend the night and rush off to prepare a room for her.

            She had the distinct memory of her brothers and sister playing with her in the yard whenever they all got together. There always had to be an event to mark their collective visits. Now she watched them fade away feeling guilty that they had not even got to play one game of catch before she had climbed into the car and drove away.

            Her mind returned to her father waving goodbye from the curb. She looked over at Quest and considered him a long time. What was she looking for? Something she could recognize in his face perhaps, something she could call her own.

            “Are you my father?”

            It was a moment of time before she realized she had asked it aloud. She looked at him in profound embarrassment and opened her mouth in horror.

            Quest laughed. When he was done and her horror and chagrin complete he gently shook his head.

            “No. Vanessa, I am not your father.”

            She blew out a sigh of relief.

            “No, I am not even your uncle other than in name anyway.”

            Vanessa’s surprise and shock had to be palatable.

            “We are not related by blood only by experience and oath.”

            “Wow, I cannot believe I just asked you that!” Vanessa said.

            “You will meet your father soon enough.”

            She stared at him in renewed shock. She did have a father  after all.

            “It is hard to explain, since he will not know that he is your father.”