Tuesday, February 21, 2012

How can i quit a job like this one?


When it finally sunk in for Frank that Vanessa was actually leaving the firm, the smile vanished from his face during the presentations and meetings to be replaced with furtive looks of suspicion.  This all came to a head during her last week at the firm. Frank came into her office with the firm’s owner Steve Peterson.
                “Hello, Mr. Peterson-“
                “Call me Steve.”
                “Steve, Frank. What can I do for the two of you?”
                “Well, Vanessa can I call you Vanessa?” Steve began then continued after she nodded. Steve gestured at chairs and they all sat down in her office. Van crossed her legs, marveling as she felt that muscles that had formed there over the past few weeks. She unconsciously flicked at her skirt and smiled over at Frank. Frank squirmed. She blinked then glanced back to Steve who folded his hands in his lap and licked his lips.
                “Vanessa, Frank informs me that you are planning on leaving us very soon?”
                Ah, so this was what Frank had been up to. She smiled back at Steve Peterson.
                “Yes, Steve, I am in fact down to my last three weeks before I leave.”
                Steve glanced at Frank, one eyebrow raised, Frank to his credit only squirmed a little then shrugged. Steve nodded as if making up his mind about something and looked back over.
                “We are prepared to offer you a promotion to director of Marketing with a substantial raise in salary, if we can persuade you to stay with the firm?” Steve gives her his million dollar smile.
                Vanessa keeps her smile in place as she ponders what a substantial raise would entail. After a reasonable pause she shook her head slightly and watched to her great amusement Frank’s shoulders tense.
                “Are you sure, We’d be open to negotiations on the benefits and perhaps even the salary.” Steve said trying to smile even bigger.
                Wow, apparently I never gave myself much credit of my importance to the company- or… Vanessa pursed her lips realizing that there was something more going on. She shrugged slightly and shook her head again.
                “I am sure we can offer you more than Russell Nash can with more perks than he has.” Steve announced as he steepled his fingers in front of him. Frank looked so tight she figured he would snap in two at any moment.  
                Aha and oh ho, as Spencer would say at a critical moment in his books. The truth is revealed. Steve doesn’t want her to go so much as to her personal importance to the firm as much as he cannot deal with losing an employee to his nemesis, Russell Nash across town. Van almost laughed and her eyes sparkled as she shook her head in an effort not to giggle. She succeeded in stilling the laughter, as delicious as it was. Her mouth quirked into a grin as she watched Steve’s expression go from incredulous to a dark shade of red- anger or embarrassment or both?
                “Steve-“  Vanessa began.
                “Mr. Paterson.”
                Well, that was the way of things.
                “Mr. Paterson, while I am flattered by these offers, I am afraid I cannot accept them.” She held up her hand to stop him from interrupting. “I am not sure what you have been told but I can assure you that Mr. Nash has not made me any offers. I am not leaving the firm to go work for a competitor.  No, I am not” - this at his sudden scornful look of disbelief.  “I am leaving the for a change of career and scenery.”
                “Well, Ms. Schumpert I am sorry to hear that but the offer still stands despite my own personal feelings to the contrary.” And with that he stormed out of her office. Frank stood wiped his hands in his best Pontius Pilate imitation (though Vanessa seriously doubted that Frank had ever read the Bible) gave her the evil eye and walked to her door before stopping and looking back at her.
                “You know, I am not fooled by any of this. We both know what you are up to and I won’t be held accountable when the chips are down.”
                Talk about mixing metaphors. Frank was the king of that and never even knew it, well she wasn’t going to point it out.
                “Frank, I told you that I am not pulling a fast one, I want to travel and go on a-“
                “Vanessa stop kidding yourself, we both know the whole adventure-“ and here he held up his hands to make an exaggerated quotes expression before continuing “ is complete malarkey.”
                She must have shaken her head as she shrugged because Frank flapped his arms, threw up his hands and slammed out of her office. Vanessa sighed as she leaned back in her chair. She spun around to look one last time out of her office window.
                “Leavin of an jet-plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again.” She sang to herself as she spotted the hunky guy from her office musings making his way through the construction site. She waved down at him, more for herself than any hope he could see her.
                Sue came in later to announce that the staff was waiting in the break room and there was cake. So she followed Sue out to the break room where the men and women from her department yelled surprise and her going away party started. Sue led the staff in singing “For she’s a good fellow” before presenting her with the ginormous cake. Everyone lined up for cake and punch which tasted quite alcoholic.
                People would come up and ask her where she was going and Sue-who was a bit tipsy by that point would interject over anything Vanessa would say and tell them outrageous lies.
                “She’s joined the brothers of Assisi and is moving to Tibet to live in a monastery.”
Or
                “She taking up professional bull fighting and moving to Mexico (which she pronounced as MEHIKO).”
Or
                “She’s joined the space program and is being launched into space Friday.”
Following one of the last statements, Vanessa escorted Sue to a couch and had her sit down for awhile until she thought the woman would sober up a bit and stop giggling.  

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